ArtConcept Festival; includes a presentation of my Mythology and Modern Perception film/multimedia program, as well as new collaboration/installation with Russian visual artist Andrei Efi, entitled The Carefree Princess, and an improvisational performance with Nieva Dance; Pushkinskaya 10 Art Complex/GEZ21; St. Petersburg, Russia

30 June 2008
Mark Twain
United States of America

Dear Mark,

Here we are, on the eve of July…I can’t believe that I have been out of the US this long. It also feels as if my Fall concerts were years ago, not just months…NYC seems like a distant memory, and Boston feels like the remnants of a dream…

…it’s been a long intense year. I’m tired and I have to admit that my patience is gone…I have had some great events and worked with some fantastic people and organizations; I have also had some of the most frustrating experiences dealing with the most amateur and pathetically organized events that I have ever encountered. It’s been quite a mix…

I have to also say that my body has given out, as well. Now, I am a very health conscious person-daily exercise, yoga, healthy diet-but I think the year of stress and travel have taken their toll. At this point, my right side has been in revolt: my neck, shoulder, and arm seem to have a pinched nerve, as does my back; my right knee (sports injury) throbs with pain and I can’t put wait on my right foot-my ankle has been swelled up for over 2 weeks. Of course, one still has to perform, so…one does. One just pays the price later on. Numerous playing/performing injuries over the years have led me to never want to have to rely on my chops for a living-this is why I expanded into teaching and started to focus more and more on composing as the years went on.

I feel I know what older athletes go through…you can still do it at high levels, many times even far better then when you were younger (like I feel I do), but man, you pay afterwards.

This week didn’t help…

Ah, Russian organization…this is such a surreal topic, because truly one can not believe what one is actually perceiving. Wow. Things are so shlocked together at the last minute and run by people who have no idea what they are doing, one can only be amazed that the whole production doesn’t collapse…funny thing is, it DOES collapse on occasion, but everyone excepts it as fate…no one takes the blame, and they go on to create more poor productions. Now, I’m talking about productions at ALL levels…including major festivals and the Marinskii Theater…

So…my week:

On the 24th of June, I was to premier two works by a young Russian composer, Olga Kreshenko. Now, Olga is a good composer, and I think that once she expands her perception out of the Russian (badly copied…) avant-garde and into more of a current world music view, she may be an interesting voice in a few years. The festival was called Fin-de-Siecle…now this title is wrong for a number of reasons: number one, traditionally this term referred to the end of Victorianism (19th century) and the beginning of Modernism (20th century); secondly, even if you disregard this, now is not the end of a cycle (century), but the beginning…using this term is ignorant. Olga explained that the idea of ‘the end’ is very important to Russian artists, so that is why they use it…see, Fatalistic…whatever…

Anyways, so I premiered a solo flute piece and played flute in a chamber work…they were OK; the room, the House of Composers, was awful…holes in the floor/stage, dead sound, smelly and falling apart. We were to be paid a ‘modest’ fee…this is Russia, I mean MODEST…however, in typical Russian fashion, the organizers-AFTER the concert, mind you-said that they actually had no money to pay any performers and that the composers were on their own. The poor girl had to pay us out of her own pocket…it wasn’t much, mind you, but please…I find this disgusting…but it’s all too typical here…

The second festival was a whole different set of circumstances…

I started a collaboration with video artist Andrey Efi on an animation project. The film, entitled “The Carefree Princess”, was to premiered as a multimedia work on his festival, Art Concept. OK, sounds good. Andrey-a very nice guy, by the way-since he was running the festival, took longer then expected to finish the film…like 3 weeks longer…I had to write the score in about 2 days, record and edit it, and get it to him to create a dvd. Fine, we did it. The animation is of one of his paintings coming to life. My score sounds like the love-child of Sting and Blood, Sweat, and Tears…I even sang on the performance…

…ah, the performance. Now, initially, I was to give three performances over three consecutive days: the opening of the festival would be the new animation/multimedia presentation; the second day, my “Mythology and Modern Perception” live film performance; and lastly, my improvisational collaboration with the Nieve Dance ensemble, entitled “The Secret Domain of Women”…

Now, the night before the festival began, I was told that all three performances would be on the same evening…tomorrow…“excuse, me…what was that again?”. The festival board thought that it would be more interesting…no one asked me what I felt about it…

So…I played three, caffeine-enhanced concert programs over 4 hours. They were happy, the festival was successful, I was dead…

…Russia…

Well, there has been SOME good news. The Saxophone Journal issue (July/August 2008) which I am the cover story was just released. The interview, done in December, talks about my tour, my life, my music…my mother even liked it…she bought like 12 copies. I think that my mother is finally starting to understand what I do professionally-this has taken decades, mind you-and maybe is even starting to forgive the fact that I play nothing like Stan Getz…

It’s funny, I remember when I saw my first issue of Saxophone Journal (1984?); I was in high school. I thought, “how cool would it be to be on the cover?”. Over the years, I read interviews with major players and thought about how I would answer, if ever asked…now, I was asked, and my answers, for better or for worse, are now in print…

So, there it is…

As I head into my last full month here, I can’t help but wonder about what my life will be like back in the States.

If nothing else, I’m sure that it will always be an adventure.

Your traveler,

Demetrius

Time of Music:Fin de Siecle Festival; I will give the premier of Russian Composer Olga Krashenko’s The Path for solo flute; Composer’s House, St. Petersburg, Russia

Guest performer with jazz group Vos do Ar at the famous Russia Hotel; St. Petersburg, Russia

Collaborative improvisation performance with the modern dance group Nieva Dance; SAD Cultural Center, St. Petersburg, Russia

17 June 2008
Mark Twain
United States of America

Dear Mark,

As I have said in recent letters, this has been a long, tough year for a number of reasons. Obviously, not the least of which has been both culture shock and, maybe a new phrase, ‘infrastructure shock’…how the city/country is organized and governed…like the fact that they turn off the hot water in the city for weeks to clean the pipes. It’s cold here…it’s not like it’s 90 degrees Fahrenheit everyday, more like 50…it’s too cold for that…

But, one of the things that has saddened me has been the fact that I have missed a number of major milestones this year back in the US.

The first was my 20th high school reunion; I wrote about this around Thanksgiving when it happened. This was sad for me-there were people whom I would have liked to have seen. I’m not an arrogant person nor have I ever felt the need to ‘go back and show off’ and say “see, see what I have become?” as many do. No…I just wanted to have some nice, quiet conversations with old friends.

Strangely, I have reconnected with some people via the Internet on sites like Myspace and Face book. These do provide a quick, easy way-albeit maybe a little impersonal-to ‘be in touch’ with people. But I can’t complain here-at least I’m in someone’s thoughts…

The second was my sister’s 50th birthday. Granted, for my sister, this hasn’t had any effect in slowing her down-the fact that she looks a generation younger helps this-and I heard that the celebrating was great and merry. Her birthday also coincides with Memorial Day, so it’s a double celebration. In true Mediterranean fashion, there was great food and wine and much singing…I was here…

To be honest, I still see her as 28…I don’t know why…50? Really?

The third will be next month: my mother’s 75th birthday. This is also a surprising one to grasp. I see my mother as 50 (which, needless to say, would be pretty next to impossible given my sister’s age…and mine…). I fear the years are taking their toll-she’s tired and alone-this concerns me. She doesn’t use a computer so she can’t email or google or know what I’m doing…she actually can’t even read these letters…my sister prints them out or her on occasion, usually months after the fact. We speak on the phone every now and then, but I’m hard to catch at home (we just taught her how to use a phone card). Granted, my mother is a very intelligent person (she was a research chemist, mind you), but technology has passed her by…

So, I will miss that, too…

The fourth happened this past weekend on Father’s Day. Strangely, Father’s Day marked the 10th anniversary of my father’s passing. He died around Father’s Day weekend, 1998, after a very difficult battle with cancer. My father was a very strong man: 15 operations, blood transfusions, Hepatitis C (through a blood transfusion in the 80s), Multiple Sclerosis, and a liver transplant…he beat them all…the cancer finally got him at 65 (the same age his dad died of cancer), but not without a fight.

He lost his health, his business in bankruptcy after 34 years, and his family in divorce, but he still fought on…

…that’s tough.

Our relationship was not smooth; he wanted me to be an athlete like him (which I was to a certain extent). He was a famous local athlete-still holds high school and college records almost 60 years after the fact-was even in ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not’ for sports. His dream was to be a professional athlete, a dream that was cut short by injuries-he was even drafted professionally (football) and was the first recipient of the Harry Agannis award for Outstanding Greek-American Athlete nationally. This dream never happened.

I didn’t live up to this expectation-my pursuits were elsewhere, which caused great tension between us.

He started a business. It was a small pizza place which he turned into a mega-restaurant, the largest North of Boston-he expanded into more venues, into real estate, and into contracting-built an empire.

He wanted me to have this-I wanted nothing to do with it…so, he didn’t support my endeavors. At 19, I was on my own…

His businesses collapsed completely when I was 23-he lost everything, including his wife and house.

Maybe this changed him…I’m still not sure. Maybe he understood the idea of family…I still don’t know. He was a cold man-he came from a very difficult part of Greece, a part where the people are considered strong and hardy and show no emotion…he was one them. His mother was difficult, showed no emotion…he was her son.

But, I think, maybe, just maybe, towards the end, he started to realize what he had lost and what he still had…

We had many unresolved conflicts. Eventually, he said that he was proud of me and what I did because I did it with no help from him…well, nice to hear that, but it would have been nice to hear that at 19 and not just at 29…

The last time I saw him conscious, he gave me a hug-no emotion, but more of an understanding that this was it. I understood it too…

At the hospital, I had to make the decision to help him pass peacefully. I was by myself with him…he was suffering…I did what was best. The doctors couldn’t understand that I came to the decision so quickly…but I did, and so did my father. He was done with suffering…why keep him in agony for maybe two more days…who was it for? Maybe for us, but not for him. He didn’t want this…he told me as much on our last meeting. After all of the pain and suffering in our relationship, the least I could do was allow him to die on his terms.

One year later, we cast his ashes into the Merrimack River; his business, his life, was centered here…it was his wish, and it was only fitting.

I wonder, 10 years later, what he would’ve though about me-about my life and what I have done in my career. I have to admit, I talk to him…maybe in arrogance. In a way, I wish that he was around to see that I could do it without him and his support. That I could create a career far beyond what he thought that I could accomplish…he thought all musicians were nothing more than lounge acts, a ‘dime-a-dozen’, they play weddings, ‘no future’. I would have liked to have proven him wrong…

…maybe he knows…

I don’t have children. Probably won’t at this point, but one never knows. Although starting a family at my age seems daunting…15 years ago, when my friends started, OK, but now…
But, if I did, there would be certain traits of my father that I would instill in my children. These are the ones that have made me successful-sometimes, they are also the ones that have made me less than sympathetic to those around me, as many former friends and failed relationships will attest to. But, they have made me ME. For better or for worse.

So, on June 15th, as I looked out over the Neva River in St. Petersburg, Russia, I saluted him. Maybe in arrogance, maybe in wistfulness, I said “I wish you could see me now”…
…and maybe he can…

The time has passed quickly. I have my 40th birthday in a few months-another shock and another milestone, but at least I will be home, God willing, to celebrate that with friends and family.

Until next time.

Your traveler,

Demetrius

June 9-13, 2008 (Latvia)
Mark Twain
United States of America

Dear Mark,

Well, I survived it. My final trip outside Russia this year, save my happy return to the US. I was a guest of the Latvian Academy of Music in Riga, given the task of lecturing about working with electronics and multimedia as both a performer and composer, and also to premier new works by graduate student composers at the Academy.

Hey, sounded easy enough. This is what I do, right? Right up my alley, my area of expertise, my ‘specialties’ all coming together in one happy week. Only 4 pieces…¼ the number of what I did in Greece in October, and I also get to play my own program on top of it. “Great“, I thought. I also get to talk about what I know best, which is working with electronics and film; “easy”, I thought, “cake!”.

Why did this week almost kill me? I don’t know. I left Latvia very tired and achy. I finally think that the year has caught up with me-actually, I have been feeling this way for a while, but I really ‘felt it’ this time. You know, I don’t know if I could have pulled off what I now call ‘the Greek Miracle’ (premiering 15 new works, two solo concerts, and 4 full days of recording in Athens after a week of festival performances, solo concerts, recording sessions, and lectures in Bulgaria and Serbia) now. In October, I had only been abroad for a few weeks and had more time to prepare for that experience. I was ‘fresh’. The 10 days in October killed me, but I did it. I hurt, but it felt good and successful. I had complained in the letter about that trip that I always feel like I have a big ‘S’ on my chest and assume (maybe arrogantly…) that I can handle any Herculean task thrown at me. Immediately after the Balkan experience, I went right into preparing for my first Central Asian trip. I recovered quickly and jumped right in.

Now, I am tired. I have completed a week that I wouldn’t even have thought twice about 6 months ago, but now has left me drained. It may have been my last trip, but it was far from my last commitment-many festival performances and composition projects that have to be accomplished in the next few weeks. I’m at a point where I just want to stay in bed and not bother-granted, I don’t get depressed, EVER, but it’s not that. It’s exhaustion. I’m not used to this, and I don’t like it. The Russian quality of life I know has played a strong role in this. That knowledge doesn’t make the impact any lighter.

But…this letter is about Latvia. So let’s talk about this.

My friend Charles Griffin, who is a US ex-pat living in Latvia and a damn good composer, connected me with Rolands Kronlaks, the director of the electro-acoustic studio at the Academy. Rolands invited me to the Academy for a week of lectures and to premier these new works.

Riga is a beautiful city. Not to detract from this beauty, I have to say that Latvians, in general, are probably the coldest people I have met. Now, the people at the Academy were friendly, and Rolands is a very warm person and a great guy (must be because he spent lots of time abroad) and his students were all very kind and nice, but in general in the restaurants, the hotel, the airport, and on the street…cold people. Russians are generally grumpy, but at least they show emotion; Latvians just look, well, numb. As I mentioned, the people whom I worked with were very nice-it must be that they need to interact with you a great deal to feel comfortable about being friendly. I don’t know, I come from the land of hospitality (Greece, although the US is also very friendly) so, well, I always smile and try and make people feel comfortable. It’s important to me, so I find it strange when people go out of their way to make you feel unwanted…

But, enough of that. This was a tough week for a number of reasons. The first was that I was lecturing on music and technology, specifically on working with electro-acoustic music and film. I started off making a comparison of academic experimental music and pop music, saying that pop music uses much of the same technology (and always has!) to much greater success…it was like I, excuse the expression, passed gas in church…Rolands was the first to jump down my throat, saying that new music technology was researched and designed with the academic composer in mind…RIIIGHT…that is SUCH a multimillion dollar market, those crazy academic composers…but, I left it alone and jut discussed my experiences working in pop studios. It was safer…

Much of the week was like this: a number of disagreements on my lectures, but that’s OK. We all have different values and views on the world and our place within it. I see things from a Western, non-academic point of view; this means that as a creative artist, I also understand the practical means of producing performances and creating opportunities. My views are not influenced by academic situations or governmental funding…I just do what I need to.

Well, beyond that, we had a few issues with the pieces…like, they weren’t finished…oh, two were done and rehearsed just fine; two weren’t. The first was given to me beforehand, but there were numerous issues with the electronics and score, and the composer was not present until the day of the performance at the dress rehearsal, where we had to quickly put it all together and fix numerous issues. Not my idea of a good situation. The other piece was finished the day of the performance-it was a good piece, a good composer (albeit, a tad overscheduled at the time), but that didn’t help me. Luckily, I survive in my career by the fact that I sight-read REALLY WELL and learn things extremely quickly.

For this latter piece, since the electronics component didn’t materialize in time, I suggested adding live-time electronic manipulation for the composer to control via lap-top during the performance. This was a first for her, and I think that she enjoyed it tremendously. Actually, this could be a new thing for her-she did great! It’s high time to bring lap-top performances to Latvia…

Due to these issues, my days expanded on both sides. I arrived earlier in the day and stayed later then scheduled to make all of this work.

Well, you know, it all turned out fine. Learned some nice, new pieces, met some great people and made some fantastic new friends….maybe even influenced the next generation of composers…maybe, I have temped them away from academia to the Dark Side…(add maniacal laughter here)

The other interesting aspect was the fact that yes, I admit, I spent a lot of time watching the Euro 2008 football (read: soccer) championships on TV. Yes, I know…I have made fun of soccer in at least three recent letters, but I have to admit: I had watched at least 5 games over that week and yes, I enjoyed it. I also have to admit that I checked the schedule when I returned to Russia and PLANNED MY SCHEDULE around the Greece-Russia game Saturday evening…

…I know…I’m pathetic…

But, I will still prefer a baseball game any day.

So, I am back in Russia, exhausted. My last scheduled trip, and to be honest, it didn’t come soon enough. I have many-a-commitment here in Russia for the next two months, but traveling internationally, luckily, isn’t among them.

Save to go home…

Well, my last few weeks, I am sure, will give me many adventures to talk about.

I can already lay bets on what I think will happen…

Until the next letter.

Your traveler,

Demetrius

Guest lecturer and performer in residence at the Latvian Academy of Music; will lecture on topics ranging from electro-acoustic composition and performance to working with film and multimedia; will present a concert on the 12th at Stone Hall which will include both new works for winds (flute, clarinet, saxophone) and electronics and my Mythology and Modern Perception film/multimedia program; Riga, Latvia

Ethonographic Museum; guest lecturer and performer; topics include the APXE project and the influence of Ancient Greece on modern society; St. Petersburg, Russia

American Corners/Petrovsky College; guest lecturer and performer for the Future Leaders program, supported by the US State Department; topics include modern music and writing for film; St. Petersburg, Russia